Moany Baloney

In case anyone was wondering, these are my 10* least favourite phrases on US tech blogs/newsites

(*seasonally adjusted to 9)

When you’re as addicted to reading tech blogs and tech news sites as I am, you notice the same phrases and word memes come up over and over again. Often, they’re amusing the first couple of times, but they can quickly become wearying to read again and again. Here are the ones that are currently annoying me the most:

Called out
“The IDC called out this new category for special mention”.
It just sounds wrong and ugly, like a kind of unfortunate singling out in a military parade for ‘special attention’. It sounds lumpy to UK ears, in the same way that ‘I promise I’ll write you in the fall’ does. I concede that this is pure British linguistic snobbery, but there it is.

“Y’all stop beating on Apple, b’okay?”.
I reckon South Park and their Mr Mackey is responsible for this one, reverse enginered from ‘Mmm’kay?’

Beating on
“Y’all stop beating on Apple, b’okay?”
This is as bad as Australian news reporting ‘a bashing’ in the mall. Mall is bad too.

Kool Aid
“You’re clearly drinking the Microsoft/Apple Kool Aid” .
Swallowing marketing hype as if it were the truthiness. As I’m based in the UK, I have absolutely no idea what Kool Aid is, or how the consumption of it suspends one’s critical faculties.

Probably Simpsons. It’s the sort of thing Homer would say, like ‘saxamaphone’ and ‘Rageahol’

“Pedant, much?” or “improved camera on new iPhone? Not so much.”
Much nice discussion of the new muchness here:

ipod/iPhone killer
Ha ha ha.
The ipod was launched, when, 2001? It was killed in the same way that the G’Gugvuntts in the Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy killed the Earth (they were, in fact, eaten by a small dog due to an unfortunate miscalculation of scale.) But the idea that something should be ‘killed’ because some talented industrial designers actually thought about user experience, and made something as well as they could, seems to smack of reverse snobbery or jealousy or hypocrisy, or maybe snobbery. Or Jealousy. Or reverse hypocrisy.

“I hear Robert Scoble may or may not be a frigtard”
Used exclusively by Dan Lyons, the Forbes journalist blogging as Fake Steve Jobs. I’m not sure this update of the charming American insult ‘retard’ has caught on in the wider world, along with it’s variants twittertards, freetards and tardtards.

Of course, it’s all good sport to be terribly annoyed with Microsoft and Vista, but it seems a rather pointless insult to imply that Microsoft, a commercial company, is…in it for the money! Shock, horror, eyes popping out on stalks, etc. In fact, as an insult it’s fails somewhat as it looks kinda cool with a dollar sign in there, very bling.

Just stop it now, please. We get it. It’s easy to misspell ‘the’. Great. Now just spell it properly.


One Response to Moany Baloney

  1. Tom says:

    Agreed. One note: the Kool Aid reference is about drugs man. It was frequently used as a medium to dissolve LSD into. Hence The Electric Kool-Aid Test, written by Tom Wolfe.

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